Entitled coworker pressures pregnant carpool driver to ask her husband to drive her to work when she's out on maternity leave: 'He should because it’s his fault that I have to go out of work because he got me pregnant'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 14, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Running a carpool can either be fun or miserable. I was very happy to drive my high school sweetheart to school our senior year because they literally lived a 1-minute drive away from me. I got to hang out with them every morning, get angry at the local radio hosts together, and get socialized for the day. While I did feel guilty the week I had the flu and was unable to drive them, they were able to take the good old, reliable school bus home. Not everybody has alternatives when their ride for work is unavailable. 

This story follows a woman in a bit of a conundrum. She can't drive; the closest driving school to her is an hour away, and her carpool driver is about to go on maternity leave. She's running out of options, so she asks her coworker if her husband can drive her to work instead, and she can't understand why she would take offense to this request. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10360550144
    via Taneli Lahtinen
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to ask my partner if he'll drive my friend to work when I go on maternity leave
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 03
    I am currently 7 months pregnant and I give my friend a ride to work, I've been doing this the last year because they lived 3 minutes away from me when I was in my old apartment, and I continued to do the favor when I moved in with my partner.
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 04
    I'm going on maternity leave next month and my friend has no idea how she is getting to and from work. She's been trying to figure it out since I found out I was pregnant but she cannot drive, there are no driving schools nearby, the closest one is 2 hours away, and they have no family to help them.
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 05
    I said I wish I could help more, but giving her rides while I'm on maternity leave but driving with a newborn at 6 am just isn't happening.
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 06
    Today she suggested I ask my partner (my baby's father) if he would drive her, and I said no I'm not asking. We have to be at work at 6:30 and my partner had to be at work at 7:30, and we live 10/15 minutes from my friend and our job is 20 minutes away from his job and I'm not making my partner wake up earlier than he normally does to get ready for work and drive my friend to work because she can't find a ride.
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 07
    She made a joke saying that he should because it's his fault that I have to go out of work because he got me pregnant and as a friend she would appreciate the favor. I said I wish we could help but I'm not asking him.
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 08
    She's upset with me because I won't even ask, but I already know my partner will say yes because he has people pleaser tendencies so im making the decision for him. Then she brought up how she wouldn't have taken the job that I helped her get if she knew we wouldn't be able to carpool anymore, she figured it out when I couldn't give her rides due to illness or appointments, but now I feel like she's trying to guilt me and keeps insisting I just ask and won't drop it. AITA?
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 09
    Devoted Red 21 hr. ago It's so nice to read about someone who protects their partner from being taken advantage of. Absolutely NTA.
    via u/DevotedRed
  • 10
    throwawayaita278902 OP 21 hr. ago Yes!! He does the same for me, and it's part of the reason our relationship works so well and we don't get overstimulated in our relationship
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 11
    oranges214 21 hr. ago . edited 19 hr. ago It would be a good idea to give him a heads up anyway, your "friend" sounds entitled enough to go behind your back to ask him directly and if he isn't prepared for it he might say yes just from being put on the spot. Edited to add quotes around friend because she is a mooch, not a real friend.
    via u/oranges214
  • 12
    throwawayaita278902 OP. 18 hr. ago I did let him know and i said to tell her I said no if she asks him
    via u/throwawayaita278902
  • 13
    DogmaticNuance . 20 hr. ago Also, he's going to be a dad to a newborn. He should be on paternity leave himself, because fitting anything else in will be very hard. He will not have any time for extra anything, no way, no chance. He will be needing help, just like OP.
    via u/DogmaticNuance
  • 14
    LJ_in_NY. 19 hr. ago And let's face it: he's going to need all the sleep he can get so expecting him to wake up extra early to take a grown adult (who he's not even involved with) to work is....crazy.
    via u/LJ_in_NY
  • 15
    TarzanKitty 17 hr. ago Right?!? If he does have some extra time in the AM. He is going to want to spend that time hanging out with his partner and baby. Not playing free Uber for an adult who needs to figure their out.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 16
    blueboot09 18 hr. ago "she wouldn't have taken the job that I helped her get if she knew we wouldn't be able to carpool anymore" It's been a nice run on the job you "wouldn't have taken". Now go find yourself the job that would have been the option. Bye girl!!
    via u/blueboot09
  • 17
    asecretnarwhal. 18 hr. ago This was my first response. Get another job if the current one doesn't work for transportation any more. Talk about entitled.
    via u/asecretnarwhal
  • 18
    Jostumblo 18 hr. ago Yeah when I hear someone is having a baby, instead of offering help, I always try to get them to do extra stuff for me, because they're probably bored and have lots of extra energy to use on me.
    via u/Jostumblo
  • 19
    cathedral68 17 hr. ago The fact that this is several comments deep is mind-blowing. You do NOT ask parents of newborns for favors. At all. Unless your favor is "can I take care of your baby while you nap?" or "can I come hang out and fold your laundry when you guys are awake and feeling good?" Some people, man.
    via u/cathedral68

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terrible coworkers maternity leave transportation entitlement carpool coworkers wife reddit story maternity driving husband entitled Reddit coworker entitled people
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